4. The Passionate Leader: Jung Yunho – The Heart of TVXQ

OMG…I actually wrote this…read it and hated it, deleted it and wrote it again….and I still hate it. I don’t know why my posts are sounding so negative T_T

It took a while for me to get over Jaejoong’s post, it was like I mentioned quite difficult to cram everything I want to say about him in one post. Even today, I was like “damn, I wish I included this…” or “I should have scrubbed that part and added this.” If I could, I kind of wish I could re-write Jaejoong’s post to show how much I actually love him. Anyway, it’s done now lol, so time to move on.

We now move on to my fourth favourite in the group – the leader himself: U-Know Yunho. I’m already struggling with what to say. I have a complicated relationship with Yunho as a fan – so let’s try this out.

Pre-amble: I kind of mentioned in passing before, but because I followed a pre and post split TVXQ, it’s hard for me to explain my opinion on Yunho and Changmin without mentioning the past, even if I don’t want to. This is especially the case in Yunho’s situation as there is drastic change in my level of liking him between before and after.

Yunho is the leader of TVXQ, the ONLY personality in the group in fact which makes sense to be a leader. He has taken this role upon his shoulders very seriously from day one (a little too seriously), and I think I mentioned this before as well – but this colours TVXQ’s style and distinguishes them from other groups – particularly in that era. It is because of how he lead the group, that many people would call them…a little uptight. This is not necessarily a bad thing at all – in fact, it meant that Yunho from day one seemed to know that he wanted this group to be a legend, and he did. It just makes the reality of what happened with the split even sadder. I personally respected them as a group for how serious they were, and even if back then I didn’t like Yunho THAT much – I respected him a lot as the leader of this group.

I have to admit something – I am really unfair with Yunho. Because of my odd personality, I tend to not like people who the the majority of people like. And the fact is, there is a large amount of people in this fandom who LOVE Yunho (I am referring to the duo given that I don’t follow JYJ as much). Because I feel the constant need to defend Changmin in the duo since there is quite a lot of praise being given to Yunho (not that he does not deserve it), I feel like that unfortunately made me resent him a little. Funny enough, I deal with this at home too. My mom is huge Yunho fan AS WELL as an anti-Changmin fan (not that she does anything except criticize him in front of me lol). The combination makes me resent Yunho and be quite defensive of Changmin – so I feel like I tend to be quite indifferent when I get to Yunho, a habit I am trying to change. It doesn’t help that my first opinion of Yunho was not a great one, in fact, I don’t think I actually started liking him till post-split. I can even point out the moment that made me like him, and it will come in a bit.

OK – so let’s start!

Ranking:

• Visual: 3rd
• Voice: 5th
• Personality: 4th (pre-split) / 2nd (post-split)

Analysis

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Visual: even if I wanted to be a Yunho anti-fan, I can’t deny that this man is handsome. He is by far the manliest looking one of out of the 5. The tall figure, adorable yet serious looking face, very strong features (till he smiles). I never (like literally never) understood the whole Yunho is the gay feminine guy thing…like I see the diva dancing moves sometimes, but apart from that, I have never seen anything feminine like about this man. I am not saying he is not gay (like honestly, how would I know?), but there seem to be a huge – like a huge – amount of the fanbase who say that he is feminine. Like I understand if someone says he pings their gaydar – but feminine!??

I think in both pre and post split eras, Yunho had a pretty distinctive face compared to other k-pop idols. The man is gorgeous, and has an almost kitten like face. I also love how expressive it is – which is kind of why it’s easy to map out the changes in him. It’s almost a timeline – he started out as this innocent but confident child, transformed into this serious “okay guys, we have to take this seriously” child, into manly (gorgeous) serious leader, into (sadly) broken tired and depressed leader, into “determined to make this work again” leader and finally into relaxed, fluffy leader.

Innocent Yunho: you kind of feel bad knowing what’s coming…

Serious Yunho: turning into into the leader of the biggest and most legendary group in Asia

Glorious Leader: Definitely the most outstanding leader in the industry at the height of their fame

Breaking Down Leader: trying to cope with the disaster

Even after coming back, there were moments he was barely holding himself together:

Determined Leader: coming back like a bad-ass determined to prove everyone wrong

Cute Leader: reverted back childhood (last pic – wtf happened!??)

You can see from the picture spam above, Yunho is a pretty hot guy I really do like how he looks – especially with black normal hair (i.e. his natural look)…I’m a fan of his looks. Even nowadays while serving proudly in the military with shaved hair, no make up, exposed to sun skin – he looks really handsome! Basically, when I think of a leader and how he should look (both physically and in how he carries himself), Yunho is the ideal picture that comes to mind.

Voice: OK, so Yunho is 5th in the voice department, but that does not mean at all that he is not good. I sometimes want to smack SM Entertainment in the face so hard (actually a lot of times) for not developing Yunho’s music talent more. This is of course my opinion, but Yunho is actually REALLY good in singing. First of all, he represents the low tenor of the group, meaning he technically has the lowest pitch….and yet I only see this being utilized when they perform a cappella pieces. In every song, if they even give him enough lines, he always sings in a much higher tone, even higher than Junsu and Yoochun…so why did they not develop that? Even post split, when singing with Changmin who is the highest pitch in the group, he sometimes takes the higher pitch voice and he does it well – so why don’t they use that to his advantage? I think that Yunho was marketed as the group dancer (and does he not compensate the last place in voice with the first place in dance?) that when they became a duo, they didn’t want to change that “image” but should have because…there are only 2 people singing!!! Honestly, I am a fan of Yunho’s voice – sometimes when singing songs lately – especially ballads, I even prefer Yunho’s voice over Changmin’s, so I always feel disappointed they don’t give him more credit. Here is an example of one of their most difficult songs – sung by only the 2 – where Yunho covers Junsu’s part for God’s sake, and does it magnificently well, I felt so proud. I feel like because they were forced into just the 2 of them singing, Yunho had no choice but to develop his singing and he has significantly improved. I also noticed that Yunho seems to be really passionate about singing (I guess this can be said about all of them, except maybe Yoochun post split), but he REALLY loves it. So it makes me happy to see him happy to sing.

But yes, as a comparison to the five – Yunho would place last in technique at least.

As mentioned however, Yunho is the dancer of the group, he learned and breathed dancing and takes it really seriously. Because I have no interest in dancing and do not really have any talent or desire in it, I cannot judge much – but from what I hear, the consensus is that his dance talent is amazing. I guess I do see the difference between Yunho and and Jaejoong, Yoochun and Changmin for example, but I can’t really tell the difference in talent between Yunho and Junsu…but I hear he is better and to be honest, the amount of passion and love he has for it makes me believe it.

Personality: okay so this is where we branch out to a pre-and post split.

DISCLAIMER: MY OPINION

Yunho has an admirable story of determination to get to where he is today. Coming from a strict professional family from Gwangju, his father in particular did not approve of his life decision to go into entertainment. Because this was Yunho’s dream, he made the choice to prove to his family he could do it and ran away from home and it’s comfort to Seoul. He travelled the more difficult yet traditional path to stardom in Korea, which is practising and auditioning to be accepted into SM Entertainment. Along the way he faced many hardships involved with moving to a new city with no support system, including being mugged on his first day as well as being homeless several times, even sleeping on the streets on days. Until he finally got accepted as a trainee in SM Entertainment. Once he started his training days – he got close to other trainees but his debut did not come for a while. Cute fact for DBSJ feels: this would be the time he would have gotten quite close to many Super Junior (SuJu) members as he would have been training with Heechul, Leetuk, Kangin, Donghae, Eunhyuk and of course the previous DBSK members: Jaejoong and Junsu. It’s no wonder this group seem tight even till today, with more than a decade of friendship. Changmin would be the next to enter the company, with the infamous story of how little Bambi-eyes fetus Changmin went up to him to say hi on their first meeting, and got shot down immediately by Yunho – who told him to leave if he was going to be half hearted (scaring Changmin lol). While this seems mean, we later know that the reason he says this is that he was sick of getting close to people, and them leaving or them not debuting. Interesting story to share though, while Vold…I mean Changmin always LOVES sharing the story of how mean Yunho was to him during their first meeting, Yunho used to always laugh embarrassedly (that cute laugh) and then explain himself. But someone once bothered asking Yunho about their first impression of Changmin, thinking that it would be just as negative – but Yunho explains a nice heart warming story of how he actually LIKED Changmin even at first – he thought he was cute and gentle and polite, and if anything was worried about whether he could handle the intense training (especially due to Changmin’s….lack of dance skills). This is actually the epitome of Jung Yunho – he might seem rough sometimes, but he’s ALWAYS so sweet.

When he finally does debut, even though he is not the oldest (Jaejoong is), he is definitely the leader material. He obviously took it very seriously – and from his young age managed the group, their schedules, their image…everything. He was really strict with them yet also loving…just like a kind but strict father. There were times when Junsu and Changmin, being the youngest 2 looked downright scared of him. Especially Changmin who honestly at times I felt respected Yunho from afar for most of their time pre-split. I really do think that it was Yunho who coloured the tone of the group – they had a zero tolerance to mistakes, perfected performances, dances and songs, their image was SO clean.

His relationship with the members as well was really good at first – his friendship with Jaejoong of course untouchable, his relationship with Yoochun and Junsu was quite good till around 2009 (this is a personal opinion, but before the drama even happened in July…you sense a bit if tension in the relationship between these three: Yoochun, Junsu and Yunho – similar to how something seems oddly off between Jaejoong and Changmin, and SOMETIMES between Yoochun and Changmin. This is TRULY a personal feeling though).

OK – so you would ask then, wtf is the problem? Why would I rank him so low? So the below information is my opinion of Yunho pre-split. Please remember that I have changed my mind about him, and he is now my second favourite member…this is just my impression of him before….

1. We spoke in Jaejoong’s case about fan service. Saying and doing what the public wants to see. I find Jaejoong’s case to be a little worst because he did it for show and public attention – but Yunho did it too. I think the more right term in this case though would be…lip service? He basically said whatever he thought was the most right thing to say in that situation – regardless of whether it was corny or not, true or not – like whatever he needed to say to come out in the best light, or in a variety show, the most amusing light for example. Do I think that is wrong? Not entirely – that’s his job. But how do I explain this…I think he sometimes pushed it? Like he would actively interrupt other members speaking to say what HE thought was the right answer to be saying. This attitude seemed to disappear just a little before the split, during the split and definitely after the split though.
2. This is also going to be a weird one…but I personally at first (seriously at first…) thought that Yunho was a little fake. There was something off-putting about the way he laughed which I realize now is just the way he does it, not that he intentionally is faking laughter or something. It’s like he laughs really loud then in a split second his expression changes immediately to serious (I don’t mean to make him sound like a psycho so I literally searched for videos and found examples to show lol!) Here are two examples:
   This is pre-split (this is the mild version too lol):

   This is a post split example:

   Do you get what I mean lol? I just found it a little off putting at first, and I find that he did it quite a lot actually. In fact, there were many times he seems like he wasn’t even laughing but when everyone else laughed he would just follow along. It kind of goes hand in hand with point 1 – which is I think he was doing it just because he thought it was an appropriate reaction rather than meaning it. I now think it’s probably a mix of both, and as an adult can honestly say a little fan service and lip service is needed. I don’t find it weird anymore.

There are actually more reasons I did not like Yunho at first but I am not going to get into it, because it relates to the split as well and I don’t want to discuss that. But let’s just say overall – my first impression of Yunho pre-split was that while I respected him, I didn’t really think or care for him much.

You know the video I linked above, where Yunho and Changmin were singing Balloons with Shinee, while he was obviously trying to hold his tears in? That was EXACTLY the moment I changed my mind about him. I remember my exact feelings while watching that video, and when the reality of what Yunho was dealing with came crashing down – and that’s when I began liking him.

You see – as a Changmin fan, I tend to over sympathise with him and his feelings, and we will get to that in his own post. But even then, I have to be honest with myself. The one who took the burden of the split between them is Yunho. 1. Because he is the leader of the group. 2. Because he got the most hate out of ANYONE of the 5 members. 3. Because to him, this was literally everything he dreamed of, more than the other 4 (in my opinion) and 4. Because I feel like Yunho hates being in a bad relationship with anyone, and gained quite a bit of bad blood because of this. Where Changmin kind of stepped it up after the split, and evolved into an adult – Yunho seemed to unfortunately go the other way. He genuinely genuinely seemed depressed, and even till today does not look the same as before. I feel like he lost almost all the light in his eyes and even his childish behaviour seemed to have evaporated for a few years. I have a theory about this, but it will come later – when I talk about Changmin and my criticism of him.

Once I started realising all of this, I honestly began liking Yunho. As the years went by with him after split – seeing his road to recovery and regaining what they lost by one one, my respect for him grew. His relationship with Changmin probably helped too, I am a sucker for anyone who Changmin likes lol. But now, Yunho is a more relaxed leader. Serious about the job still – but loves to mess around, loves to laugh (and what an infectious laugh), loves to tease Changmin, loves to sing and dance, loves TVXQ and loves his fans. There is just so much love and warmth in him that it’s kind of impossible (unless you hate the 2 of course) to NOT like him.

I also no longer feel the need to resent him. I have accepted that Yunho is more popular than Changmin (even with the rise in this kid’s fans – what happened!?) and to be quite honest, I understand why. When the days comes (IF THE DAY COMES) that he runs into any of the previoubout whes members – I can see Yunho accepting them with arms with open arms – I truly believe it.

I kind of want to overcompensate with good things about Yunho now lol – so here is a short list of some of the best things about him:

1. Remember when they had that hidden camera with his fan who acted as if she used to pick pocket people, and got accused falsely? You gotta admit the man has a heart of gold:
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8rUPi3lwJM
2. Or how about when he traveled to Ghana for no reason other than to visit sick children there? The way he spoke and held them seemed to be really genuine:
   

   
3. Speaking of children, I am sure everyone knows how much Yunho LOVES children (and animals), but it’s kind of cute how all the babies and children seem to love him back. It’s like they know:
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMxxSMHhQng
4. Last, but not least – my personal favourite is how he takes care of Changmin. I am thinking of making a HoMin post, so I can go in more details with pics and videos there, but contrary to what many believe – Yunho has taken care of Changmin since the beginning, even before split. Whether the dynamic was due to the leader/maknae thing, or because of their physical positions always standing next to each other or just because they got along – but they did have a special relationship that only started appearing unfortunately post split. But Yunho LOVES Changmin – like actually treats him like gold. Because I will dedicate a whole post to them, I am just going to leave you with this cute gif….no one messes which Changmin in front of Yunho and gets away with it lol:
   

So in conclusion – I love this man. I really really do. I am so sorry to Yunho that I spent so much time NOT liking him, and I am so glad that I now do.

And now I am going to leave you with the best memory of all….I don’t care if you’re a JYJ Stan, a HoMin Stan, any Stan – IF YOU KNOW TVXQ THEN YOU WILL KNOW how important this moment was. The first time anyone from TVXQ reunited with JYJ – the beautiful moment thanks to ROKA – where the SK army achieved what fans have been hoping to see for over 6 years…GFF everyone (I LEGIT CRIED PEOPLE):

 

 

5. The Bias-Wrecker: Kim Jaejoong – The Soul of TVXQ

Hello again. So to distract my mind off this nasty case for a while, I’ve decided to start this small project which I have been trying to do for a while now but keep feeling lazy. Nothing too exciting, but I just wanted to write an opinion on each of the 5 members in the order of my personal ranking (ie: from number 5 to number 1 – who is my bias). Because my love for the group is big lol, there is a lot of jumbled rankings and opinions about them so I figured I would write them down for anyone interested.

Just as a note before I begin – because I don’t really follow JYJ, I can’t comment much on their post-split personality. I can do a little but nowhere near as in depth as the 2 TVXQ members who I do follow. So when I say TVXQ here, I literally mean pre-split days unless specifically stated.

PS: this post seriously stressed me out because I wanted to somehow articulate my adoration without messing it up and somehow condense it into one post instead of a freaking book – there is SO much I want to say. It took me 3 days and still is far from what I wanted it to look! Imagine when we get to number 1?? It will probably take me 2 weeks…Also this might kill your computer and internet. Sorry. Please don’t hate me.

So starting at number 5, as you can tell by my title, is Jaejoong!

Pre-amble: just because this guy is my number 5, doesn’t mean I don’t like him. In fact – words cannot describe how much I DO like him. For example, Jaejoong would never come second to any other bias I have in ANY other group. It just happens to be that if I had to personally rank the 5, Jaejoong would be last; yet interestingly he plays an important role for me in several ways – and I will talk about that in my post.

OK, so let’s start. If I had a word to describe Kim Jaejoong, the most relevant k-pop related term would be a “bias-wrecker.” One day, my younger brother who also follows k-pop groups (but more girl groups and BTS) was talking about his ranking of his bias group – and how he had a clear number 1 but there was someone who he REALLY liked but did not want to replace his number 1 position. I told him “oh that’s simple; she is just your bias-wrecker!” So he asked me about who mine was in TVXQ – and I really thought about it and realized…it was surprisingly Jaejoong.

Let me start with my take on him, and ease up to why he is my bias-wrecker.

Ranking:

• Visual: 1^st
• Voice: 2^nd
• Personality: 5^th

Analysis

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Visual: Goddamn that unique looking face. I must admit, the majority of the times, I will not admit how much I admire his visuals. I really think he has a face made for a girl and so it feels odd calling a man 1^st in the visual ranking because he looks like a girl. But if I had to be very very honest with myself, this man is gorgeous. Just look at this:

Maybe it’s the aura he carries, the confidence he seems to exude, his pride in his looks – I don’t know what it is, but his face is really unique in an attractive way. I think in the first YunJae couple talk, they were discussing how you could spot Jaejoong from anywhere in a picture or in a crowd because of his face. That’s kind of true. I can see that happening lol. So yes – visually this man ranks number 1 for me – not just in TVXQ, but across all k-pop groups.

Also I can’t help but have a thing for men who look better as they age, and hot damn, this guy looks SO much better with every passing day – like how he looks at 30 is x10000 better than how he looked at 20. That’s a thing for me LOL

Younger Jaejoong:

Older (much hotter) Jaejoong:

Voice: You know how in fanfictions (yes I do read some from time to time), whenever Jaejoong’s SPEAKING voice is being described, the adjective “lyrical” is always used? I cannot think of a better way to describe his voice. It truly is lyrical. And I haven’t even gotten to him singing yet. He has such a beautifully unique voice – whether speaking or laughing or singing, it’s unmistakable. It’s just that he has this melodious lilt in the way he speaks which you kind of always want to hear.

And his singing voice – sigh…because I am attracted to all things unique, there is one more person in the group with a more unique singing voice which will come later in his individual ranking – but I tend to like the other person’s singing voice more because of its uniqueness….and so Jaejoong lands at second. There are times though where I ask myself when listening to Jaejoong sing – what the hell am I thinking? How is this not my number 1? Here are some examples:

This song which he sang in the army – I don’t know if he arranged it that way himself or what – but I’ve never loved a cover song more than the original as much as this:

Jaejoong was obviously the main vocal in the group of 5 (assuming he is the main vocal of JYJ now? Or are all 3 the vocals?) and he does carry the songs beautifully and adds to them a touch which even I have to admit is irreplaceable.

In the second JaeMin couple talk, Changmin does an excellent job of describing what I think of Jaejoong’s singing voice. He said, I will paraphrase, that every single singer has a voice that lends to a bias. You will always think “oh this voice suits a ballad,” or “this voice better suits rock.” It does not mean they don’t do well in other genres, but you have a bias in your mind of what kind of music they will be better at. The magic of Jaejoong’s voice is that it literally does not trigger ANY bias in your mind. As you can see in the example above – the man’s voice is made for rock music, pop music AND ballad music. To put it simply, it’s a voice to be heard, that should never stop singing. And I hope to God he takes care of his voice more and stops smoking because I can already start detecting a difference, and it would be an absolute shame in life to not hear this voice sing one day.
PS: seriously, every time I watch those Japanese rock videos, I go like – ah no wonder Japan is so enamoured by this man. He could be J-Rocker and I would have believed it. Doesn’t he remind you of Hyde for example (style wise)?

Personality: obviously given such high rankings for visual and voice, the question would be – why is he ranked 5^th then? The answer is personality.

This isn’t going to apply to everyone of course, but I almost feel like the first 2 points are quite popular opinion. I can find many people who will agree with me (most people actually) because they are a little factual. Talent is talent. Where people will differ is in the personality.

As a brief note again, I just wanted to highlight something about myself. To me, personality has a HUGE impact to how attractive I find someone. I did not realise this at first, but once I started becoming aware of it, it made so much more sense. I won’t deny that the FIRST thing I look at would be the visuals, but even the most attractive man in the world can look ugly to me if their personality is ugly. Similarly, I find myself seeing a lot of good features and points (visually) in someone who has a really good personality, even if initially I did not think they ranked high in the visual department.

The fact that Jaejoong manages to rank number 1 on my visual list even though he is my number 5 on the personality list is a testament to how attractive I think he is. It is honestly unprecedented for me to have such a gap but Jaejoong broke it for me lol.

Here is my take on Jaejoong’s personality. In case you have not noticed by now – this is not meant to be a bashing post. Just an honest one (in MY opinion).

I think Jaejoong is really kind. When people say he looks cold but has a really warm heart, I actually see it. It does take a while to see it, but you see it very clearly in his interactions with the members. And I don’t mean Yunho and Yoochun – who he is close to. But to Junsu and especially Changmin who he took care of honestly as they were his own family. I spend a lot of time watching Changmin (for reasons you will find out in his post lol) but I see his interactions with many people – and they are all beautiful interactions, but none as special as that with Jaejoong. The difference between all the other guys and how Jaejoong interacts with Changmin (and Junsu!) is that he nurtures them. Actually. He removes the air of awkwardness and almost makes them feel free to be and say what they want without feeling bad about it. Jaejoong is the oldest member in the group, Changmin is the youngest and I have honestly NEVER seen Jaejoong use the I am older than you card (not even through actions). Where Changmin is withdrawn and quiet in general (unless he can bully Junsu), when he is with Jaejoong, he literally opens up. It’s REALLY nice to see. As someone who has friends like that, I can relate very much to what Changmin feels like when Jaejoong is around and how comfortable he makes him feel. The same can be said for Jaejoong and Junsu. It’s like when he is in a bad mood, Jaejoong won’t call him out on it. If he is in a good mood, he will encourage it. It is SO sweet.

I love JaeMin:

I want to give you an example – this moment is quite well known across the fandom, and one of the fandom’s favourite videos for many reasons.

This was in 2008 – when TVXQ won the MMKF awards after finally returning to Korea after years in Japan. It meant a lot to them, it meant a lot to the fandom, and the emotions were running quite high that day –you could see it in their faces. The majority of the clips capture the same thing – they go up on stage, Yunho is talking to the crowd, Changmin unexpectedly breaks down and starts crying and Yoochun comforts him until Yunho hugs him. It is quite popular. But I don’t know how many people saw this version of the video – which is actually the same clip filmed from their back and honestly you see a much sweeter story. Maybe this story is well known too but I honestly did not see this version till quite recently actually. You can watch it here:

So when you look at from this angle, you see some more things. Sure enough, Changmin starts tearing up and the first to pick it up obviously are the fans. Look at 2:43 at Jaejoong. He hears the fans and looks at Changmin and notices him crying, and again something you will only see from this angle – alerts Yoochun from behind to go comfort him. Only when Jaejoong taps him urgently, does he look to see Changmin and goes to hug him. Also in the background, Junsu is struggling to keep his tears in and is hiding behind Jaejoong. Once again, Jaejoong instinctively is checking around and see s this and comforts Junsu. Here it is (also one of my favourite Jaejoong moments):

At 00:53 – the same scene as above, Jaejoong notices Changmin crying and let’s Yoochun know. From the front, it looks like nothing is wrong because he is smiling, but we saw how he tapped Yoochun above 🙂

At 00:57 – Junsu who was barely holding it in, when he saw Changmin, he looked like he was going to burst out crying himself and hid behind Jaejoong.

At 01:01 – Jaejoong looks for Junsu and sees him crying behind him, and comforts him. In fact, because Changmin’s shocking display of emotion that surprised everyone, I don’t think ANYONE except for Jaejoong noticed Junsu’s crying….so HA to all the JaeSu haters out there lol. It’s such a sweet moment.

And what does that say about Jaejoong – the person who is emotional, but put comforting everyone else above himself?

This is just a small example – but I don’t know why, it means A LOT to me have that nurturing member there. In fact, isn’t he exactly like their mother? He cooks for them, he loved them, took care of them, took care of their feelings. It’s really beautiful to see.

His relationship with Yoochun and Yunho is also equally as great. I do not mean not to focus on it, it’s just that his relationship with the younger 2 members is what distinguished him for me than in another groups for example.

It is because of this aspect of his personality that if you ask me, who is the MOST members I miss out of JYJ being in TVXQ, it is undoubtedly Jaejoong. I can’t obviously begin to understand what the 2 are feeling, but I can’t help but wonder if he is also the one they miss the most. That presence is honestly almost impossible to be replaced…

As great as all that sounds, there are also quite a few issues with Jaejoong’s personality.

1. Fan service: anyone who follows the world of k-pop will know there is an excessive amount of fan service in the industry, especially in boy bands. There seems to be an unexplainable amount of shipping within each fandom that drives the market of fan service (or maybe it is the other way around, I don’t know). TVXQ is actually one of the groups with the least amount of fan service I have seen. I am not saying they don’t, they obviously do – hello, YunJae anyone? – but generally speaking, if I had to honestly say it, TVXQ is kind of an uptight band. They are quite serious about EVERTHING. If they’re asked a question in a variety show even if it was not serious, they most likely will answer it seriously. This group honestly contrasts significantly with other such as Super Junior for example. I am not saying they don’t know how to have fun, or are not funny people – but they definitely are not aiming for laughter when they are interviewing or are in shows. In fact, my personal opinion is that this has to do with their leader – Yunho – but that will come in HIS post. So all in all, yes, they’re not very fan-servicy, which to me is a wonderful thing. This appeals to me in MANY ways. And that’s why to me, any interaction they have with each other is much more genuine in my eyes than other groups – because it does not feel like fan service. Which leads me to my point – out of the 5 – the most one who did show fan service in those moments would be Jaejoong. Any by that I mean, there are a lot of times when he seems to be a little…fake. I can split this into 2 categories – one that doesn’t bother me and one that does. The first is – as an example – his relationship with Yunho. He KNOWs that this ship goes beyond any ship in k-pop, and perpetuates that belief. He speaks about reading the fanfics, liking it, he giggles and says weird stuff to Yunho on public television. Like I don’t care if you’re a YunJae believer or not (I’m not), but I don’t understand why someone needs to sing “I want to be your bed for a day” in another language so people don’t understand ON PUBLIC television, if it wasn’t fan service. Also, he did a lot of touchy fan service with Changmin during the last months before the split – and I don’t know why but it seems to have REALLY made Changmin uncomfortable (maybe I should just do a JaeMin analysis LOL). These don’t bother me as much though. What DOES bother me, was after the lawsuit – the continuous talk and dramatisation – for example that MAMA speech he did. I really don’t like this speech. I can’t imagine how the 2 must have felt listening to it.
   As I said, because I do not follow JYJ much,  I do not know the context of a lot of their interviews, but I do follow “mentions” between the groups – and so I know that Jaejoong spoke a lot about TVXQ, still being part of the group, tweets about seeing Yunho and Changmin in their dreams, the tweets about texting them etc…I understand. I am a human being, and I understand that Jaejoong seems to have been in pain emotionally. I do think he overplayed it though by taking it to the public. I would have respected JYJ’s choice much more if they accepted the consequences of their actions – instead of playing the martyr card over and over. And for me, Jaejoong perpetuated most of this image in my head more than Yoochun and Junsu did.
2. Thought process: On a personal level, I can’t help but think that if there is someone I would not get along with, it would be Jaejoong. What I mean is I can BARELY understand what is the point he is trying to say. I used to wonder if the translations of stuff I was reading was off – but I could understand what others are saying, so I figured it was either that they were struggling to translate his thought process so it would come off as a little…odd – or he really was odd in his thought process. It’s hard to explain unless you’re watching him speak for a while…but it’s almost like he zones out mid-way and starts another topic. So you start a topic and then suddenly it takes a turn to a different discussion. So he is very very hard to follow. Which can be cute – but if he is like in serious discussions too I can see it as quite frustrating. To be fair though, this seems to have waned off significantly as he grew older – he doesn’t seem to be like that in his speech now.
3. Stubbornness: I think his stubborn streak can cause him quite a bit of issues. I will not get into the discussion of the JYJ split – but I can’t help but wonder many times if Jaejoong is the one who regrets the decision the most. He seems to be the most one who stuck with this idea out of stubbornness – we DESERVE to be compensated more, we DESERVE a cut in another business. When he left – we STILL are part of TVXQ, JYJ of TVXQ. This stubborn streak is almost like a self said matra in his head which validates what he is doing, but almost like he does not think it through ( seriously – no bashing if you’re a JYJ fan – this is an opinion piece…).

I’m a pretty negative person, so I hope that the piece above does not make you think I don’t like Jaejoong or think badly of him, because quite on the contrary – I think Jaejoong has grew into a (too) beautiful and smart man, and I think that he is honestly one of my favourite people to follow. He really is unique – looks wise and personality wise, and it is not common for me say “oh this guy is like Jaejoong” because he’s one of a kind.

Also, I must admit, even if he is not my bias, no matter what – when I think of TVXQ as 5, I think of Jaejoong. I feel like a LOT of people would do. This man was honestly the soul of the group, and I know with all my heart that TVXQ to Jaejoong will always be one of the most important things in his life, and that he will always identify himself as part of this group. Because I am so much more focused on the current TVXQ, because it hurts a lot of think of past days – I tend not to think of the feelings of the 3 as much. But when I do – I can’t help but feel some kind of despair that Jaejoong must be feeling no longer being part of it. So – I will leave you with this video that i just saw today actually, of Jaejoong talking about his tattoos, which he has a reminder of things he wants to remember.

“As I’ve lived my life until now, the things that I don’t want to forget, the things that I was thankful for, and the things that I was sorry about.Those things I’ve articulated into words and have carved them onto my body.”

My take on the Park Yoochun case

So contrary to what I was hoping, which was to maintain this blog a bit more, I have been quite distracted. But now I am back, unfortunately to blog about some pretty bad news – something I did not expect to be talking about. I believe it’s been around 2 weeks since this started? But I am honestly so tired and disappointed and heartbroken that I have to vent it out in a place with no judgement. And what better place than my blog which does not have much followers?! Should this blog be read by others, particularly anyone who knows and follows the case, then I am sorry in advance because this post will be long and confusing – and to be honest, depending on your stance, might be offensive – even if I am doing it unintentionally.

Before I start, I feel like I have to make a few disclaimers. 1 k-pop related and 2 not.

1. The K-Pop related one:
   Yes, my bias group is TVXQ. I am making this blog as a fan of the group, AND as a fan of Park Yoochun. This is not the time and place to get into an argument about the split – but where I respect and admire JYJ’s mission, I did not approve of their methods. On the other hand, not only did I respect and admire TVXQ’s mission, I also approved highly of their methods. Since then, I have followed TVXQ (more specifically, since I am Changmin biased, I follow his activities more than the group even) and with the news of the individual JYJ members rather than the group itself. When I evaluate the group of 5 together, Yoochun happens to rank quite high, just second to Changmin (but a huge gap lol), but I cannot say that I follow him beyond watching a few dramas and his last album which I listened to (because give me any main feature which is a ballad and I am sold!). So I just wanted to make a disclaimer here that I am not THAT much of a Yoochun fan anymore for me to be blindly following him or siding with him because I’m some dumb fangirl. That being said, Yoochun IS important to me because I have precious memories of this group together as 5 and this case absolutely sullies those memories, which is why I have such a strong opinion in it.
2. Non K-Pop related number one:
   I am 28 years old. I am (I think) considered to be mature for my age and am generally open minded and smart enough to make rational decisions. I have always worked and continue to work in a professional environment and take decisions on a daily basis which can have large consequences. I have never been described by anyone who knows me as dumb or gullible – I have enough cynicism in me for quite a few people.
3. Non K-Pop related number two:
   This is the most important point. I am not like a feminist or anything, but I am VERY sympathetic to the plight of women and their exploitation around the world. Since this case relates to sex workers, I need to be very clear from the beginning that not even one bone in my body will ever defend the rape of ANY woman, no matter what her background or profession is. I do not believe in this bullshit of “no sex worker can be raped because that’s her job.” No. It is NOT her job. Basic human rights to safety and not being forced into doing something you don’t want to is a right to EVERY human being. I will not stand for any crap about bringing down the women of this case because of their job, of which we don’t even know why and how they got into. Also, to be clear – rape is not only about forcing intercourse, there are other forms of sexual assault such as forcing the woman to do ANY sexual act she is not happy with. I need to make this clear enough as you read through this blog post because what I will say may seem to contradict this, but it actually does not.

So let us start. I am going to start with Miss A – the first woman who has started this and come forward with a claim saying that she was raped by Yoochun. My first instinct was to side with her and I spent the first days actually devastated because this man that I have followed and respected for quite a while, and who I built this image of in my mind turned out to be a criminal and had committed a heinous and unforgivable crime at that. My second reaction was to question how could someone be so different than what I expected, and that surely this must be a mistake. This did not last long. My THIRD reaction was to think about it rationally after the shock wore off. Actually, wtf is wrong with me? Do I know this man personally? Have I met him in any setting outside of what I have seen on YouTube channels and DVDs? Who the fuck am I to say that he could never do something like this – I don’t personally know him?

Then shit got completely muddled up when everything started to crash down with Miss B, C and D now coming forward saying THEY were also raped in the same manner, same method (in a bathroom), same way of luring them but at different points in time, including one that happened last year. Miss A also backed out of her case saying that she was in fact NOT raped and that she was angry and him and his friends demeaning her and so she and her boyfriend tried to bring him down. Truth or coerced? I don’t know.

I will stop her to give an opinion: I saw some people who commented that it was strange that the women did not come forward until they saw that Miss A was getting public attention. Please. No. Women who are raped or sexually assaulted go through a period of trauma – some never even recovering. If they felt ashamed  (they should not be) or felt helpless, they may have chosen to not come forward at the time. But when they saw that there was a chance of being taken seriously they might have come forward.
I am not saying this is what happened, but I am saying please do not use their late reaction as an excuse to defend him. It will fall on deaf ears.

Moving on, where it gets messed up and where doubt started creeping up was actually with woman C and D. I don’t think they have the date they got raped recorded in a secret diary or anything, but they did not give approximates – they gave actual dates to the police. And these dates it seems to have been incorrect given that Yoochun was not in the country on those dates. They then CHANGED the dates to another day which worked. In fact, I believe there was more than just one change. This already sounds super suspicious to me. To compound this suspicion, reports were floating around the internet about a police report stating that gang related activities were rampant in these adult entertainment bars, and it is not uncommon to see some gangs targeting celebrities.

Opinon: OK – so at this point, I am feeling better. There is hope! Yoochun might be framed – right? To clarify this early on, this will be my stance for the rest of this post. Not that he is innocent, but that I am not 100% sure of his guilt just yet. But yes, this was the point when I started believing there was hope. I know there are claims out there are there is the Lotte scandal happening and it sounds like this might be a cover up for this case – I will not argue but it does not sound realistic to me. So I will not be using this conspiracy theory angle in my post.

During the next few days, I hate to defend C-JES, but I will have to give them credit for their stance and for them trying to reign in the situation correctly through claiming that they would not be giving any public stances or information – and would prefer to cooperate with the police directly and provide information to them. They obviously failed in containing the damage but I cannot say this is their fault. News reports were coming out from EVERY angle, everyone had an opinion, Yoochun was being bashed (to put it mildly) and our fellow non-involved commenters and the public became judge and jury – already finding him guilty before we even heard anything from the police. When we did hear something from the police, it was all from other people forums and so there are chances that they are not true. Evidence would come out and then be disproved, alibis came out and also got discredited. Basically, it is all one big mess that is impossible to sift through due to the massive amount of information circulating.

Opinion: The one case which I till now have the most concern for, the ONE case which really bothers me and if anything turns out to be true, this will it – is Case B. This woman’s testimony and her messages and the way she acted (based on her statements I mean) is the closest one to someone who has gone through a sexual trauma. And so if there is one case which will probably break it for me, it will be this one. I honestly have no come backs for this one, and it is more than 90% of the reason why I believe in Yoochun less than maybe other fans do.

Then yesterday, Miss E came forward. I have no shame even saying this, but out of all the claims out there – this one is the most suspicious. I hesitate in anyway to call her accusation a lie, so I will not. Maybe there is substance in what she is saying and maybe she is just not making a smart choice. But from what I have seen, if anything, this claim is what pokes the biggest hole so far in this whole argument. Her claim comes in one week after (which would have been fine) except that she claims that she didn’t go to the police because she thought they would not believe her especially with her job. This is a sad reality and I can accept that she may have felt that way. But instead of now regaining hope that 4 other women in the same position have gone to the police and were being believed and Yoochun was investigated – she chose to take this information to Dispatch – a gossip and expose site – and reveal it there. Someone needs to explain this logic to me somehow. What benefit would she possibly have to go to Dispatch instead of the police? More importantly, what detriment would it be to her to go to the police instead? Scared of being exposed? She saw how the other 4 women’s identities were protected. Scared of not being believed due to her profession? The other 4 women are of the same profession. Scared because she had no evidence? Neither did some of the other women and it’s still being considered. Scared that she might not be believed? Would be a possible cause if she did not go to the press about it to be believed. There is absolutely nothing I can rationalize in my mind to why her claim has any substance to it. However, this whole paragraph is useless because once again most people are choosing to ignore these gaping holes and adding this to a reason to the “already proven” victims list.

I have tried going on to websites and arguing, not in favour of Yoochun, but in favour of using our minds to doubt and wait for official information. Unfortunately, instead I get met with criticism and (most) people will attack back trying to lump anyone who does not think he is guilty into a category of “crazy fans.” Like please, I am SURE I am more reasonable that a LOT of the people commenting given the comments I have seen. Who the fuck are you? I am not even asking for people to lean towards his side. If you want to believe that he is most likely guilty, that is well beyond your rights. But to continuously accuse him of being a rapist and continue to accuse anyone who doesn’t agree with you of being crazy or worst – it’s fucking stupid and it’s childish. There is LITERALLY no skin off your nose to just wait for a final verdict. This isn’t your fucking brother or boyfriend or something. Just wait till the final verdict is out and then go on and say what you want. Have you ever considered what would happen if he does turn out to be innocent, and you just participated in bringing down a man’s career, life and reputation after 13 years of work building it because you chose to not wait for more information?  Have you thought that if it turns out that these women ARE lying, about the consequences on women who are actually being raped and hiding in fear or shame because people do not believe them but that people like exist who lie for whatever reason bringing down the credibility of the women in this profession? No, you don’t. Because you think that hiding behind your anonymous username and living in a privileged country with freedom and speech and all that is going to dictate how you handle this – and that should it turn out that he IS innocent, you don’t get affected in ANYWAY.

So yes, this is uncharacteristic of me to say it, but I will say it. I DO think I am better than most of you. Because while I do lean towards one side, and yes I do question the credibility of some of these women, I have not and will not demean any single one of them, I will not call them liars, I will not blindly defend Yoochun or try and allege that he is innocent. I will continue to defend us waiting for the people who are actually investigating and know the truthful information before making my judgement of whether he is a criminal or not. But you do not want to give even an ounce of credit to the doubtful information or the fact that you do not have ANY evidence. You don’t even fucking live in the same country to pretend like you know the details of the case. Please, spitting out statistics of female rape like that makes your case stronger. It doesn’t, it makes you look more ignorant except to other people like you. So I will continue to stick with this stance until information is out.

If Yoochun turns out to be guilty, he will not just lose a fan, I will actively be shutting down any one who tries and defend him (I am sure there will be those people….) I will leave with the disappointment and heartbreak of that, but I will not be regretful because I will not feel like I wronged anyone.

If Yoochun turns out to be innocent (and I mean really innocent, not some bullshit “not enough evidence against him” crap), then you will all have to live with the fact that he is in no way going to recover from this. I know it will make no fucking difference to you but you will have to live with this conscience for quite a while.

I am going to say one more thing, and maybe this is where the problem lies. You have the power as fans to control what happens to these idols lives. I will give you an example. Once upon a time in 2009, a group of 5 boys who were literally the most famous and important act in Korea split up – not because of internal conflict, not becaause of money, not because of greed. But because of manipulation of fans and the media. You can believe whatever you want to believe about what happened that year – but no one can deny the role of these 2 parties in what happened. The fans and media start this vicious circle of talking without considering the consequences. There are screenshots and conversations from back in the day supporting that even some of the fans who were making things worst did not expect that the group would actually split – they just wanted to defend their biases. Please heed this message well – this applies to both group – those who want to blindly support Yoochun, your’re not helping ANYWAY and you’re making us fucking look bad, and those who want to crucify Yoochun, you’re going to lead a man to have his life ruined without evidence. What will you if he is innocent?

Anyway, that is all I will say about this matter. Apart from this one post and any responses to it (I am to expecting any because no one really follows it), I will withdrawn from any social media and any comments or boards activities. I will no longer be commenting. I am tired, exhausted actually, and am emotionally so upset as I have to come to grips and prepare myself for the possibility of one of the people I respected being a criminal – and from what I have already seen from other people, you make it worst.

DoTs OST – Xia Junsu!

ALRIGHT – First K-pop post! I am super excited!

Everyone who follows K-Drama will know this, but the show Descendants of the Sun (DoTs) had started at the end of February and the ratings of this show is like BLOWING drama ratings away. I have honestly decided not to watch this show until it’s actually done because I know I can finish all episodes in one day – and then I won’t be able to wait each week for episodes. So I believe I have at least 3 more weeks before I can watch the show; that doesn’t mean I am not following the progress of OSTs! Of course with a show this successful, every artist under the Korean sun will want to participate in singing, so while I was 100% not surprised with this news, I am still ecstatic with the fact that OST no. 10 is being sun by JUNSU!

C-Jes released a teaser of the song: C-Jes Instagram Page

Given that it’s a teaser, I can’t judge how good it is, but I have yet to hear any song by Junsu which is not good so I am not worried. This makes me even more excited to watch this show! I can’t wait to hear what the full song sounds like!

PS: When the eff is Junsu joining the military? I don’t exactly follow JYJ as a group as much as I follow their individual members very closely – but even I am pretty upset that the group doesn’t actually reunite till 2019 at this rate….

Hello Again!

I am actually surprised this page has not shut down due to inactivity haha! But I am glad it’s still here. Hopefully I can be more diligent now that I am officially unemployed after an epic exit from my Company. I did what everyone never believed I could do – I QUIT! With the exception of moving to the other end of the world in 2010, this must honestly be the biggest life changing decision I have made. At least this was my decision, and (hopefully) it was a well thought out one — I think this was the right choice, and although it is terrifying being in this position with no income (till I find a new job), and while I am sure I probably interrupted my career BIG TIME, I think that health – both physical and mental – need to be taken care of; thus the decision to quit.

SO – here I am. It’s been 1 week since my freedom, and I remember thinking one of my resolutions was to restart this blog. Especially since my circle of friends is not wide enough – so this is a good way to just talk things out somewhere rather than talking to myself about it haha!

I guess there have been quite a few changes since my last post – nothing drastic (other than being jobless) but definitely some changes — mostly unpleasant unfortunately. But that’s not what I am going to talk about! You will be seeing a change in direction in this blog – previously I was interested in Anime and Manga etc. Well I have migrated to another set of interest LOL – namely Korean dramas and music. Which means that you will see that most of my posts relate to Korean related stuff. I don’t even remember exactly how this happened to be honest haha – I THINK the version I remember is that while using my apps like Crunchyroll to watch anime, you will see that there is a page for K-Dramas, and I might have tried one and like it – and just kept going till I got addicted. Then I think one of the shows I watched had K-Pop stars in it, so I started getting into K-Pop which then made me fall into K-music in general. I can’t say that I am the biggest fan of pop music, I seem to follow the same rules as when I followed English music – which is that I hate the autotune shit, most pop bubbly songs just sound like screeching nails and rap/hip hop is a no no. Mostly, I like ballads and the occasional popular song which MAY or MAY not have a  hip hop feel to it — but I generally prefer following a particular group. For anyone who does follow the K-Music scene in general, you can easily tell what group I follow given my changed theme hahah but I will get into it later  🙂

So yeah – I am back, not that I have much followers. But I look forward to talking stuff out in general. I’m going to be putting through another post right now actually!

NBC’s Hannibal (TV Series 2013)

I’ve been wanting to write a post about this show for a while now. It is definitely the most interesting television show I have seen in a long time, and to be very honest, it is exactly the kind I like: dark, slow paced, very very very artistic, smart and psychological.

It’s uncommon for people not to know who Hannibal is, the series have been around for a while. He became popular after the release of the movie “The Silence of the Lambs” in 1991, especially for the role of Clarice Sterling, the FBI detective who formed a special bond with the crazy, dangerous but highly intelligent cannibal, Hannibal. It was very successful that another book was released, “Hannibal” in 1999 and then it also became a movie in 2001. Because of this, another movie was released in 2002, “The Red Dragon,” but this is actually the first part of the Trilogy, the book released in 1981. This is the only book in the series by Thomas Harris that did not feature Clarice, being before her time, but instead a similar relationship with the odd FBI agent Will Graham.

The Trilogy

I know that part of what made the trilogy so popular was the relationship with Clarice, and I must admit, the third book’s ending was one of THE BEST twists I have ever read in a book. That being said, I never liked Clarice as much as I liked Will, but it seems like my opinion was not very well shared amongst the rest of the world. Until…2013.

The show is basically pre-The Red Dragon. With no associations with Thomas Harris, Bryan Fuller envisioned and made up the story of the relationship formed between Will Graham and Hannibal BEFORE his capture – which is basically the only way we knew Hannibal in all the books and movies (until his escape). There are very little tidbits of information about this relationship, but I don’t know if he was sitting around reading each page and making notes or what – but there was a LOT of material that somehow stayed true to the series without actually stealing any of it.

So Hannibal the show – is the story is of Dr. Will Graham, an FBI detective and profiler. In all the portrayals of him, he has some sort of detachment for some reason or another, always quiet and reserved. For the purpose of the show, he is an almost Aspergers level of anti-social, with an extreme case of empathy. This empathy makes him feel what the killer is feeling, which in a nutshell, helps him to profile and solve cases easier than others. He is very well acted by British actor Hugh Dancy, who paints the picture of an almost fragile man who is on the brink of insanity with not much support. The FBI captain, Jack Crawford, knows this and brings him into the field to help him solve a case which he is not able to solve on his own. But wary of the condition of Will, he decides to provide him with support.

Hugh Dancy as Detective Will Graham

Enter Dr. Hannibal Lector. A very intelligent, successful and well..classy psychiatrist, who was recommended by Jack Crawford, and who takes a very keen interest in Will Graham. Their initial meeting is not so..warm and fuzzy, but eventually they form a unique balance between Doctor/Patient and friends. The basis of the story is the murder of several victims by the Chesapeake Ripper and a supposed copy cat. The original ripper is killed by Will, something which haunts him till the end of the season. The copy cat is non other than Hannibal himself. The purpose of course is to take vital organs for food. Throughout the show, Hannibal hosts several dinner events, and well…as the Fannibals would say “the food is people.” They are unknowingly eating humans, which is utterly gross, but you get over it quickly. Given the close relationship, Hannibal is given almost complete access to the case and therefore hiding is easier. He also very very cleverly manipulates everyone in a vicious and ruthless circle, till eventually the last episode of the season, almost EVERYONE including Will Graham himself believe that he (Will) is a dangerous and mentally ill murdered.

Mads Mikkelson as Hannibal

Not to get into the specifics, but the story is beautifully beautifully done. There are 13 episodes in Season 01, each episode named after a meal. Hannibal, played by Mads Mikkelsen, who is a Danish actor, and PERFECT for the role. Very cold, very calm, attractive in a creepy way, and deceptively strong. They actually have a specialist just for portraying the food artistically, and the method of cooking and design of food just compliments the show incredibly. One episode in particular – Sorbet (Episode 07) is just so stunning I swear I watched it like 6 times CONSECUTIVELY. This is not including the first time I saw it and the time I watched it just before the 8th episode or some of my favourite scenes in different parts in between. It is very dark (filmed in Toronto..ha!), the music is slow and perfect, the art is exquisite, the acting…phenomenal! The story is really great. I KNOW that Hannibal was a killer, and they don’t hide it or anything during the season, but I felt miserable when Will finds out that his closest friend and confidante is the one he is after. I won’t ruin more but suffice to say – round one is won by Hannibal.

End of the Bromance : (

I cannot recommend this show enough – whether to someone who already knows the story or completely new to the world of Hannibal. I personally watched it because of Mads, but I forgot that within one episode due to the greatness of the show. There is also a wonderful fanbase out there for this show, while not very popular. From highly inappropriate but hilarious crack videos on the bromance on Youtube, or the Tumblr accounts – plus the amazing interaction between the producers and writer of the show with the fans on Twitter, Tumblr and other sites – I find it very difficult for people not to love it. It has been a while since I waited each week for an episode, but I was literally going CRAZY each Friday morning for iTunes to bring the episode on.

Now just waiting for Season 2!!!!

Toast to Season 2 which took a while to be renewed!

The 2nd Law << A bit worried…..

So I was listening to the radio on the weekend, and a Muse song started playing. For anyone who knows me well, I am a very die-hard fan of the Muse, and really believe in their music. It’s probably the only band I have listened to which actually moves me and gives me chills. I know it’s hard for many to see, my brother listens to them and tells me they’re good but all their songs sound the same. But I guess to each their own! I love their music and their form of art, and I was very very happy when their Uprising album came out a few years ago.

You can imagine my happiness then, when after playing the  song, they said that the Muse are releasing their new album THIS YEAR. September 17, 2012 to be exact – or at least that’s the tentative date for release. I was very excited….until I saw this:

I was quite excited for the first minute and a half, and was actually hoping that music would be included and is not just for their promo. But then it becomes…electric!? I don’t even know what the word to use is….It almost sounds like…God forbid…dubstep..!?? SURELY…surely Matthew Bellamy would know better than to go for dubstep – the most evil form of music (if it can even be called that…) I’m worried….I read in an interview that he seems to be wanting to take a more electrical side to the music, which was fine. But if this was an example, my heart just clenches in fear.

Let me take a minute here to say – that I DO believe this because he married Kate Hudson and therefore, his sense of music may have been severely damaged. So even if this album is a failure Matt…I still forgive you.

Dubstep…..what next? Auto-tune?

50 Shades of Crap

So every once in a while, a new book comes out which does a little better than expected and develops into series, the most recent one to memory of course being something like the Twilight books. Do not worry – this is NOT about Twilight. Not directly anyway. But just to be clear, I read the Twilight books, before the movies came out. I think age wise I was around 19-ish (I’m 24 now) so already too old for the intended reader (I hope) for the series, but I can’t say my first impression was “oh I hate it,” like many people did. I remember actually quite liking the first one. It could have been the extremely simplistic language of writing and I wasn’t looking for any heavy reading at the point – I don’t know what it is, but I can remember sitting reading the first book and staying up till 3 am trying to finish it because I genuinely liked it. And the funny thing, is I gave this book to a friend and she started reading it, and then she messages me at like 3 am to tell me how she can’t stop either. The New Moon was not bad either. I was getting tired already (from Book 2!) but I didn’t mind it actually. 3 and 4 were in my opinion just too much – almost like she couldn’t believe her luck and just started making things up by page. Not a fan. Now – I generally can’t stand it, mainly due to the hype of the movies, which are crap (even though I did see them a few times lol). So just to be clear – Twilight – not a fan.

Now. How this is related to Twilight – is that apparently, someone wrote a Fanfiction on the Twilight series and I am not clear of the sequence of events and not very interested, but something along the lines of it getting really popular that she published it. And it became an instant hit for being “controversial” and “liberating to women.” So OF COURSE…like of course I tried it out. HUGE mistake.

So let me introduce to you the three books: 50 Shades of Grey, 50 Shades Darker and 50 Shades Freed.

I promise that nothing I will say in this post is anyone’s opinion by own and more importantly, I swear I am not trying to be mean. This is just my personal opinion.

The story is basically about a young newly graduated from University girl, Anastasia Steele, who is from a moderate middle class family. She is supposed to be a pretty but humble, a bit shy and “very unaware of her appeal” kind of personality. Her roommate and best friend, Kate I think…, had an interview with one of the most prominent businessmen in the country, Christian Grey. But just when she was supposed go for the interview, she felt sick and asked Ana to go instead of her, writing down her questions for the interview. So Ana goes and meets this Christian Grey, a pretty young (30s I think?) genius who built his whole business empire on his own with a huge amount of wealth and apparently extraordinarily good looks. Also supposed to be (at first at least) a pretty cold person. Ana meets him, thinks he is incredibly hot, makes a fool out of herself in the interview, but manages to notice he seemed interested enough. Anyway as you should predict from page like negative 1, these 2 end up together. He finds her and asks her out blah blah I’m sure you know how this goes.

So now, once he shows interest in her (all this time we are speaking interested in her looks of course), he decides to tell her exactly what he wants from her. He hands her a contract which outlines exactly how their relationship will be. So Mr. Grey is into BDSM and is naturally the Dominant in relationship and wants Ana to be the submissive. To back up a little, Ana has never been in a relationship and consequently is a virgin. So this is a little too much to take in for her and she is a little concerned about it. Anyway again, I won’t go into the details, it’s not even fascinating. So generally speaking, the first book outlines how she overcomes her apprehension and they enter into this relationship, but with a little twist for him because she doesn’t really follow all the rules. The first book does end though with them breaking up because he hit her pretty hard while having sex. The second one, like within a few pages they’re back together and they begin again but modifying the rules a little and by the end of it, Christian completely foregoes the whole Dom/Sub relationship for a real one and asks her to marry him. Third book, they’re married and they show you how he finally overcomes all HIS issues and deals with someone after them blabla.

OK that’s the summary of the story, it’s all you’re getting haha – if you’re interested, by all means read it.

What my beef is with this story is a few things:

• I once upon a time thought that Bella Swan was the most annoying character in the history of fiction. Until I met Anastasia Steele. This is the most annoying character I have ever met in my life. Like really….I am not exaggerating. I am not sure who the target audience is for this book exactly (the language is WAY too simple for an adult, and WAY too smutty for a teen…so not sure) but I mean if I assume it is the same as Twilight – then we’re talking of a younger range of young girls. And I think that Ana is the WORST role model for a teen ever. I thought Bella was annoying, but at least the girl has freaking guts. This girl is pretty annoying. She has like ZERO self confidence, ZERO dignity in my opinion and is a really weak person for someone supposed to be “strong.” I don’t know if it’s just really bad character development, but she really strikes you as someone you can walk over 10 times and back, and she wouldn’t do anything about it. No wonder she looked like a submissive. And all her moments of “strength” in the books actually seems more like luck on her side than anything. And I have this thing against these “Oh I don’t realise how beautiful I am” kind of thing. Like can we make this a rule? If more than 3 people, not including your parents, tell you that you are a beautiful person, can we assume that its true? It’s annoying. Oh every male character in the story has a thing for me, but I don’t realise it, we’re just friends. I am not worth the attention of all these hot guys looking at me…shut the hell up woman. Grow a spine.
• The character of Christian Grey is actually pretty decent. I liked him, I thought he was genuinely messed up for a good reason. I liked his character development, thought he was a nice guy. Until we reached like half book 2 and book 3….it’s like he became way too emotional. Way too clingy and “You’re going to leave me!?” …I was really disappointed.
• This actually really got to me. So – BDSM. A genuinely legit kink. I think of all the fetishes, BDSM is one of the most I can understand. I have nothing against it, and I didn’t think the story was too “controversial” or whatever the man wanted to be dominant. BUT. I really want to know if this lady has done some research into this topic before writing her book. I don’t think the interaction was flowing very naturally (could just be the bad writing). I can’t describe it. Well I can, but it’s mean, but I’m going to say it anyway: It’s almost like she has this  fantasy of what it is and what she wants it to be, and she just wrote it based on her idea of it. Which is extremely stupid, because I didn’t believe half of it. I mean I didn’t feel like I was seeing the “erotic” side of it at all!!! It was ridiculous. Plus like constant sex does not equal erotic. She was verging on the side of smut – as in uselessly graphic sex scenes for the sake of it. And somethings I didn’t even understand. He mentions something about doing something with a cat. No really…I didn’t understand it but he said something like “you have no idea what I could do with…a cat.” See at first, I thought this was some British term I was missing (my next point)…but I Googled it. No luck. It seems he really meant cat….what the hell was she thinking? I have no clue.
• Yes – speaking of language…what the hell!?? Why would a British woman write a story about Americans!? It served NO purpose at all! I mean…Americans don’t say “I fancy you” and some terms were just CLEARLY not American English. I swear I didn’t even know she was British until I started reading it and I’m like this is terrible, and I Googled it and she was British! I can actually see Christian Grey to be a posh British man, instead of American. Did not get it AT ALL. Served no purpose, made the writing even worst, if possible. Like where is your British pride woman? Make them frickin’ English!
• This should have gone up actually, when I was bitching about Ana’s character, but it does merit a point on her own. So even though Ana is this shy, sexually clueless character, she has this “Inner Goddess” in her she discovered, which is apparently a split personality in her who is a slut to put it simply. So in…like every page, no I kid you not, go to the library, take ANY of the three books (if the first one, start halfway through), and FLICK to a random page. And I bet you like $10 for EACH flick you will find the term “My Inner Goddess began…” doing something. It. Is. Annoying. I would have loved to go pay for some driving lessons for a train, rent a train, tie her to a railroad, and just run her over. THAT annoying. It was useless. Did this contribute anything to the story? NO. Couldn’t she have just THOUGHT like normal people? Does she have to have a multiple personality disorder for this to work? Ridiculous.

There are many more things wrong with this book(s). Unfortunately, I have this rule where I can’t NOT finish a book. I do have to know what happens, and I do have to finish it, even if it’s crap. And I know it’s cliché, but it’s true. So yes I read them…yes I regret.

I would honestly rate this: 3/10 (the whole thing) for poor writing, still no idea who the target audience is, crappy research into a legitimately interesting topic, and  HUGE minus for creating the most annoying character on the face of earth.

Thank you.

年龙 – The Year of the Dragon!

I really hope my title is correct, I’m not Chinese and I don’t speak the language and so please if it’s incorrect….sue Google…

SO – Happy New Year!!! Which has no relevance to me technically, but I can’t help feel excited since it’s the Year of the Dragon, and I’m sure by now you guessed it…I’m a Dragon!
It doesn’t really matter, but I just find it interesting to mention hahaha.

Since we’re on the topics of Zodiacs, I thought of a Manga I just finished. Well – I finished it quite a long time ago, and just re-read the whole thing again. I am talking about Fruits Basket! 

I actually searched all of the Canadian Chapters, Indigo’s and Coles stores and found ZERO FB manga, which I found really weird. Until this nice sales lady told me that they have discontinued it because of some sort of dispute with Viz (I think it’s Viz!?) – so it’s no longer in publishing. Which basically crushed me because I had book 1 – 6 and was really hoping to finish the collection.

Luckily, I found a an anime store, which had the WHOLE bundle for $200, the LAST bundle. According to the store staff, the bundle discontinued series by taking all the remaining stock and making them into a collection. Which is awesome, and not a bad price at all. So now I have Books 1 – 6 and Books 1 – 23…so anyone looking to buy 1 – 6, let me know hahaha.

Anyway – for those who continued reading my post even though they know this is about well…a shoujo manga, I need to clarify something.

Fruits Basket is actually quite a great story –  it has a terrible reputation because of the anime, which admittedly is quite tame. The anime covers around Book 1 – 8 from the manga, and its safe to say it’s a very basic portion of the story, as it doesn’t even introduce all the characters. For anyone who only watched it, has no one wondered where the rest of the Zodiac are? They’re not there!

The manga however is quite good, if not one of the best ones I’ve read. The anime  is quite loyal to the manga and sticks to the story line as much as possible. But the story picks up and becomes much more darker and so much more intense.

While I don’t find the anime to be unpleasant or anything, I just think it misses out on many of the characters, and maybe a bigger offense, doesn’t portray the depth of the existing characters.

Till I read the manga, I never got to meet the kind Kureno – the Rooster in the family, who arguable sacrifices the most, by literally chaining himself unnecessarily to Akito, even to the extent of being hated by the most person he respects. His story with Arisa is also quite short, although it has a pretty happy ending.

Or the feisty and beautiful Rin (Isuzu), who holds one of the strongest grudges against the Sohma curse and Akito, and whose love for Hatsuharu seems to be the only thing keeping her from never getting up.

We don’t meet the delightful Kakeru, and the rest of the Student Council, who is possibly Yuki’s first friend, BEST friend even, and helps him slowly break out of his shell by just…well by just being the idiot he is. Warning: Most scenes end up with Yuki hitting Manabu. Or his sister hitting him. Or his Girlfriend hitting him…you get the point…

Or what about the beautiful sad love story between Katsuya and Kyoko Honda (Honda Tohru’s parents)? We only saw her mother briefly when the speak of her death, but we don’t see (even though it is referred to) her early days of rebellion, and being saved literally by the eccentric teacher’s assistant. Their love story was strong and produced little Honda, who both loved very much. Sadly the story was very short-lived with his death very early in the story, and unfortunately for Tohru, her mother’s death soon as well. Katsuya was actually one my most loved characters even though we don’t see much of him, but let’s just say he had a pretty strong impact on me. Also, while Kyoko is brash and loud, we notice that Honda is very mild and soft-spoken, as she emulates her father, a habit she picked up once her father died in a bid to make her mother happier and in response to cruel taunts that she looked nothing like him, and given Kyoko’s history might not even be his daughter.

<<Miss No-Eyebrows 

And so many more characters that make the world much more lively.

Even the characters we already know, I can GUARANTEE you will not feel the same about by the end of reading.

The best example to this is Yuki Sohma, the main story, cursed with the spirit of the Rat. Yuki is a gentle and kind person, who seems aloof, but if actually very self conscious and self depreciating because of years or emotional abuse inflicted on him by Akito. We know all this briefly from the anime already, as he is one of the main 3 characters. I never liked him much in the anime, I thought he was way too “Pretty Boy” to the point of girly, and a little self-absorbed. And I guess in a span of 26 episodes, without seeing much more of his thoughts as in the manga, it’s what most people would see. I don’t usually see many people who watched the anime who like him, and I see their point.

But once you read the manga, you begin really seeing his story. I mean if you think about it: since he was a child, he was promised to Akito being the “Rat” in the family, who according the legend, is the closest to Akito. His father doesn’t seem to be involved at all, his mother pretty much threw him at the first chance possible knowing that her status as the mother of Rat will bring her many advantages. Akito at first treated Yuki well, as in without much trouble. There are instances though, for example when Yuki coughs continually because of his asthma, Akito flips out and demands he stops coughing, which is something he obviously cannot control. When Kureno’s curse is broken extremely early in the story, Akito goes a little insane, and takes it out on Yuki. Akito might have been hoping to keep the reigns on Yuki tight, but instead was driven more away. Akito filled Yuki’s head with talk about how no one wanted him, that he was repulsive and disgusting, and that he would never have a proper relationship with anyone else.

Yuki therefore reached out to his mother for help, who slapped him for running away and told him to go back to Akito. In tears, Yuki tried once last time with his brother, who sadly rejected him as well, pulled away and left him alone. Even worse, unintentionally he was ostracized by everyone else in the Zodiac family because of Akito. Hatusharu hated him, the rest of the family didn’t associate with him, Kyo DESPISED him. When he went to school, he finally made a group of friends, who when playing (they were quite young), girls bumping into him, turned him into a rat and therefore, the secret was out, the biggest taboo in the family. Hatori, who had the ability to erase people’s memories, was forced to remove the memory of being friends with Yuki from all of the friends, which broke Yuki’s heart even more.

We know all the while the animosity between Kyo and Yuki, but when I read their history, I actually felt much sadder for Yuki than Kyo! Yuki first met him and was quite exicted, at a new year’s party where he found Kyo in the cold standing outside looking into the party. He tried to befriend him but was quickly shot down with some pretty rude comments from Kyo who then ran away. The final straw was when at one point, depressed and at a very low point, saw a hat that the wind blew to him. He picked it up and found that Kyo was running to get it (it was his hat that got blown away in the wind). When Kyo saw it he was horrified that it was touched by Yuki, who tried really timidly to give it back. Kyo of course refused and said he quite angrily as well, that he didn’t want anything touched by the rat and ran away to his Shishou, leaving Yuki alone. Yuki who couldn’t bear it and it seems finally realised that Akito was right about him, and began feeling that there was something indeed wrong with him, broke down crying in earnest, and decided to go back home accepting his life and who he is.

This all happens at a pretty young age, probably 10 years old or even less. He is pretty much emotionally scarred and grows up completely insecure and unsure of everything. The anime doesn’t show the depth is his issues and more importantly does not show his journey to discover himself and learn to accept himself, and it’s quite a great journey. Despite his looks, in the manga I was say he displays a bit more masculinity and his kindness, and he is truly kind, shines through and heals Hatsuharu who comes to accept him as a friend. Also as I mentioned, his friendship with Kakeru was sort of ground breaking. His hatred for the curse decreases, he learns to accept Akito, he learns to forgive Hatori and even Kyo, he sees much more kindly. I think Yuki and Hatsuhari are probably my favourite characters in the story – even though he is not my usual type of character!

Another extremely strange character who is much more likable in the manga, although much crueler is Akito. The “God” of the Zodiac group who grew up being told that he had a special status in the heart of the family. Of course the source of all trouble in the family, hating females in general, especially Tohru and Rin, he has a pretty special relationship with most of the Zodiacs. I guess its a special bond where they can’t help but be attached to him, which is essentially the root of the curse. The story in the manga shows his cunning nature and cold-hearted attempts to keep the family all with him at the expense of their own happiness. Pretty late in the manga, it is revealed Akito is actually is a girl (which I found very relieving as I saw a scene with Kureno and Akito kissing and sleeping with each other and I didn’t know what to think of that…). Apart from the Zodiac members who are older than her (ie: Shigure (dog), Hatori (dragon), Kureno (rooster), Ayame (Snake and Yuki’s older brother) and Ritsu (monkey)), none of the rest of them know that she is female till the very end of the story. While not a nice character, she is a pretty strong and well written and designed character, and surprisingly I couldn’t help liking her.

Shigure Sohma is also a pretty interesting character – the dog in the family. Extremely funny and one of the original zodiacs, born before Akito even. He is a pretty laid back character, an author who works at home at his own pace to the despair of his editor who has to chase him for his completed manuscripts. He lives outside of the Sohma house (he’s actually banished hahah) and takes Yuki in and Tohru as well when she no longer had a home, and Kyo eventually. The anime focus is on these three only, but his house is pretty much a neutral ground and open for all the Sohma kids who seem to have a really strong liking for him. In particular, Rin Sohma, who doesn’t like many people, although their relationship might be a little more than just…family.
In reality though, while he is a kind person, he is definitely dark and selfish with a hidden agenda. While he does care for Tohru, his main purpose for her in the family is to break the curse, just to prove to Akito that when the curse is broken and everyone is free, they would all leave her…except for him. Shigure is pretty much Akito’s love interest, but when Kureno’s curse is broken, in her despair to keep him by her side, initiated a sexual relationship with him which drove Shigure angry. He in turn slept with Akito’s mother, who she intensely hates, and in turn gets kicked out of the house. His relationship with Kureno is also completely ruined, and you see his uncharacteristic cold side with Kureno. Despite his “sin,” he is still close to Akito and is usually in the Sohma house, especially to annoy his best friend Hatori.

                                     

 Shigure and Akito                                                                                                      Kureno (Left) and Shigure (Right)

There is of course much more that happens, and all the remaining characters are much more developed and have their own stories elaborated and their endings, which I can’t possibly get into. Let’s not forget the next major character Kyo, who along with Hatsuhari, was my favourite character in the anime, but DEFINITELY not in the manga! (I can’t get over his cruelness to Yuki even though he had a pretty sad heartbreaking history)

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Kyo grows up a lot after the anime section as well, faces some pretty harsh realities but also finds himself, and is Tohru’s main love interest. He also realises he is in love with her. I am glad this was not made into a triangle as it was pretty obvious very early on (the anime put Yuki as competition but in the manga it was obvious that’s not the case), and the story also focuses on Honda’s shift from her mother being the most important thing in her world to Kyo. He is also the driving reason for her fighting so strong to find a way to break the curse and free him for his sad future as the cat.

Honda Tohru with Kyo Sohma

There is Hatori, also part of the original Zodiac members, and best friends with Shigure and Ayame, although once cannot guess how he became friends with those idiots. He is the Dragon (IE: THE STAR OF TODAY’S POST!!!! XD) and is a pretty calm collected and extremely kind man. His kindness also chains him down to the family and Akito, and cuts his relationship with his fiance quite short with a sad ending which we see in the anime. Hatori is also one of my favourite characters.

There is also my favourite character, Hatusharu, closest probably to Yuki, and in a relationship secretly with Rin Sohma. Friends with everyone and loved by everyone (including me), strange and also very very VERY kind. He is the ox, and is usually very docile (quite out of it actually, I would have said stoned if I didn’t know better)…

        

He has a little split personality issue, turning “black” when he’s angry. But usually, it just means he gets loud…he becomes almost like Kyo. But there is one case where he gets particularly angry, when he finds out about what Akito has done to Rin.

Then there is Momiji, the half German, Rabbit, who is highly active and lively and also as the rest of the zodiac members harbors a pretty sad past. He grows up from the person we see in the anime and he also is the first person (after Kureno a long time before the story starts) whose curse breaks.

              

Other characters include Ayame, Ritsu, Kagura, Hiro (<3), Kisa

   

I’m actually quite a big fan of Hiro Sohma. He’s such a cute kid, pretty cocky and tries too hard, but he’s adorable and I think the best of the kids bunch. You know he’s pretty hard core if he was able to befriend Rin, who doesn’t like anyone…

I think I got all 13 members of the Zodiac: 1.Kureno (Rooster) 2. Yuki (Rat) 3. Shigure (Dog) 4. Kyo (Cat) 5. Rin (Horse) 6. Kyo (Cat) 7. Hatsuharu (Ox) 8. Momiji (Bunny) 9. Ayame (Snake) 10. Ritsu (Monkey) 11. Kagura (Boar) 12. Hiro (Sheep) and 13. Kisa (Tiger).

YUP! Got them all!

There are also outside characters, who play pretty major roles….like Kazuma Sohma (Shishou!) the master of a dojo, who’s grandad possessed the cat spirit and therefore was sympathetic to Kyo and adopted him after his mom’s death and his fathers rejection. Shishou plays the father to many of the Sohma kids, who all at some point of time learned at his Dojo. Like Shigure’s, they all seem to like him and treat his house as their own.

There are Tohru Honda’s friends, Arisa and Hanajima. They’re her support through the story. As mentioned above, Arisa plays as Kureno’s love interest and Hanajima funnily enough finds Kazuma attractive to the horror of Kyo.

SO….I think I summarised (ha!) the story as much as possible. I won’t read it because I know i missed some pretty key points and I don’t want to realise it and re-edit it. But it’s a good manga, and it’s light and easy to read. It won’t weigh much on your mind and at t he same time it’s not a forgettable story. As I said the characters are great, they’re deep, they stories are carefully thought and well written and the laughs are plenty and sometimes clever.

I recommend it, and would give it a 9.8/10, marks going off for unlikable main characters like Tohru Honda.

Give it a read, and any I would be happy to hear any thoughts!

I just made me some pie!

Who the hell would have thought this day would come.

Let me summarise my culinary abilities:

• Boiled Egg
• Scrambled Eggs (pretty good ones if you ask)
•  Omlettes (although they do come out to have a strange yellow phosphorous colour)
• I have attempted cooking pasta once, and it failed (ie: lunch was a one lump to cut with a knife)
• I can make any kind of sandwiches as long as the ingredients are ready (yes, this is another way of saying I can open a bread and insert food in it)
• I can make those instant noodles and soups.
• I can make several types of salads.

Basically – I can’t do anything a 10 year old cannot do.

SO IMAGINE, me attempting to BAKE. I am waiting for RazorBladeRyuu to wake up so she can be amazed I am still alive and that the house IS in fact quite intact. I believe my brother made the same comment when he got home and I told him I would be making an apple pie. He told me that it was a problem as he was going to sleep, and I wondered what the issue was, and he told me that he was worried he would not have time to escape the fire if he was asleep. I am not sure what gives everyone the impression that I am that dangerous…

You must be wondering, what has driven to me to this insanity? Well…the answer is simply Youtube! I was watching something and it had a Japanese dish, and I was curious to how to cook it. So I was Youtube-ing it and I found this Japanese guy, Taro I believe, who I think is not even a chef. But he came up with a great idea, where people send in requests for Japanese food and he cooks it uploading the video. His cooking is simple, making it easy to follow and understand, plus he is quite entertaining. This is his site: Runny’s directly to the apple pie I made. So today, was the first time I saw the apple pie and I realised that I have ALL the ingredients in the house…so I asked figured…why not?

I waited for my mom left the house to take my brother to his soccer match, and I thought, if I was going to make a fool of myself, not a lot of people should know. I knew I had 2 hrs till they were back so I worked quick.

I first made the dough as it required one hour in the fridge after preparing. I had problems with the measurement as I use cups, not grams and I think converted it incorrectly. So I might have under used the flour and overused the butter. The texture of my batter looked nothing like the video, as mine looked more like cheese strings. Nevertheless, into the fridge it went.

Then I prepared the apples, and caramelised it with the sugar which went pretty well. I really wanted to put in some cinnamon but I couldn’t find any at all. And then I remembered we have nutmeg, and so I thought I would use it instead. But I didn’t know which one it was! (I should tell my mom to buy a labeller, I can’t tell!) So I figured, the next fragrant thing is vanilla. I put in a little cream and few drops of vanilla and the mixture started smelling great. I put that into the fridge and took the dough out.

I tried rolling the dough, and I think I did it really well. But I did not have a pie dish and used an ovenware which was too deep. So when I rolled the dough in, it didn’t fit too well. I had to tuck the sides in knowing that it wouldn’t reach the top. I then added the crushed biscuits and the apple mixtures, and covered the top with stripes and covered it with egg yolk then put the whole dish in the oven and cleaned everything up.

I waited the 15 minutes at 450 F, and it was no where near the golden crisp it was supposed to be, so I left it for 20 mins…30 mins…no such luck. I figured the next step is burning, so I took it off…and voila:

 

HA! As if…here is the real mess:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It ain’t pretty…but it tasted quite good! My mom was speechless for a       while, my brother actually thought I wasn’t the one who made it, and my older brother woke up checking for fire. But one bite and they were all shocked at the brilliancy of my apple pie.

I will now leave you all so I can enjoy my piece…..

Till next time!